yesterday was 84 degrees

the ice has finally cracked and thawed, and with it my soul. i feel so good! we all take for granted our good health, and i'm just trying to look at these past few months as a forced reawakening and realization of this. i want to make the most of every moment. and just because i'm not out gallivanting the globe doesn't mean i'm not living my life to the fullest- another hard lesson for me to learn. for the past few years i've been really struggling with this. i feel more like myself, more passionate, and more alive when i'm abroad then i do when i'm just hanging around the house. who doesn't? but that doesn't mean i'm any less alive when i'm at home. so i shouldn't be living like i am. only looking forward to the trips and travels and bypassing the space in between. that space is my life. learning to live in the present moment is especially hard when you don't like what you see.

i wish i could say that i made the most of my down time since january. but i didn't. i had the best intentions, but my body and mind where exhausted and depressed. healing is a difficult thing. but i don't regret my lack of awareness and motivation. even though my eyes were shut tight through the whole ordeal, i made it through, and that's the important thing. sometimes living in the present is just too much, and instead you shut down just to survive.

now spring is here. i wake up feeling rested and i have a deeper love and appreciation for all things. i need to hold onto this.

summer comes next.