we all love them.

Mark Ryden

Vihao Pham

Andrea Wan

amen sister.

i've been neglecting my blog, as usual. but that's okay. i've been out and about instead, which is something i am ecstatic about being able to say. !!!

utah. i went to utah. it was a real dream. i had a wonderful time catching up with friends and making new ones. swimming around town. floating on the good vibes that travelling, heartfelt folks, mountains majesty, and that much needed reminder taste of all the light my future holds give me. and good health! to good health!

i've been feeling much much MUCH better. tonight i actually went for a RUN. and not just to the fridge.

so, i've come to some conclusions. utah has so many fantastic things to offer me at the moment. thus, hopefully if my body has recovered i'll be moving out there come july. i am so overjoyed, i'm an outright idiot.

in the meantime i feel like i'm finally actively making the most of my time here, at home.

amen sister.

yesterday was 84 degrees

the ice has finally cracked and thawed, and with it my soul. i feel so good! we all take for granted our good health, and i'm just trying to look at these past few months as a forced reawakening and realization of this. i want to make the most of every moment. and just because i'm not out gallivanting the globe doesn't mean i'm not living my life to the fullest- another hard lesson for me to learn. for the past few years i've been really struggling with this. i feel more like myself, more passionate, and more alive when i'm abroad then i do when i'm just hanging around the house. who doesn't? but that doesn't mean i'm any less alive when i'm at home. so i shouldn't be living like i am. only looking forward to the trips and travels and bypassing the space in between. that space is my life. learning to live in the present moment is especially hard when you don't like what you see.

i wish i could say that i made the most of my down time since january. but i didn't. i had the best intentions, but my body and mind where exhausted and depressed. healing is a difficult thing. but i don't regret my lack of awareness and motivation. even though my eyes were shut tight through the whole ordeal, i made it through, and that's the important thing. sometimes living in the present is just too much, and instead you shut down just to survive.

now spring is here. i wake up feeling rested and i have a deeper love and appreciation for all things. i need to hold onto this.

summer comes next.

night night.