:so, to catch up i am supposed to be in italy right about now. i wonder what i'd be doing today... eating gelato by the bucket load. wandering around the adorabley quaint medieval cobblestone alleys. taking a field trip to the cliffside shores of the adriatic with my painting class. ohhhh the possibilities. but everything happens for a reason and i did have my doubts about the trip, most definitely. i was in a real rush to get out of michigan, didn't really plan at all, and wasn't so sure about the program i was entering into. even so, i wasn't betting on an infectious disease to interrupt my hasty plans, let alone two.
:apparently, my lyme came back. or rather it probably never went away to begin with. the doctor's aren't quite sure. but their concern this time was babesiosis... another oh-so lovely tick-borne illness. annnd i have candida in my intestines. it's been a blast. i'm running my own pharmacy now, by the by. and i think i may actually be part vampire due to lack of sun exposure and fresh air. on the plus side, hopefully my symptoms will be no longer after this is all said and done. no more tummy aches, no more panic attacks, no more head aches, no more constant exhaustion, no more unexplained rushes of depression. only time and rays of positivity like streaming sunlight will tell.
:it's been rough. the treatments aren't easy and i've had to give up a lot. the stress of not knowing whether or not they were working has been even worse. so it's been a real challenge trying to remain positive. but when challenge isn't a choice, but more of a necessity, you buck up and get shit done.
:june 1st and i should be done with my treatments. which means booze, caffeine, smoking (should the mood strikes), simple carbs, sugars, and travel travel travel for me. and cupcakes. holy god, do i miss cupcakes. not to mention a life outside my bedroom, which has been sorely lacking since the new year.
:i'm gonna try really hard to keep this thing updated. my therapist said i have to start giving myself a space for visual inspiration. i'm gonna start collaging the hell out of my bedroom walls with dreamy pictures that motivate and invigorate this languid soul, as well as post on this here blog. she said i need to start mentally envisioning a positive, happy, cheery future for myself, in place of the dark, bleak, blank hole my mind immediately produces when the word 'future' is mentioned. so for starters i give you, my dear internet, bibio.
Posts
